extra! A7, July 30, 2009

Some not as polite as others on the road

Most folks these days seem to like abbreviations and anagrams such as AARP, NRA, NAACP, GOP, MADD, DOT, AMA, etc.

I’ve come up with a new one: ROSE. Seems sweet doesn’t it? This abbreviation stands for Rude, Obnoxious, Stupid, and Excessive. It describes some of the drivers I see daily on the highways. Not so sweet, is it?

These drivers, and I use the term loosely, treat others in a “rude”manner. By this I mean they treat their fellow drivers with disrespect they wouldn’t display in a supermarket check-out line.

They become “obnoxious” when things don’t go exactly their way on the road. They display this attitude by giving you a dirty look when they pass or waving with less than five fingers. They may even get in front of you and slam on the brakes to let you know they are upset.

When drivers become agitated they tend to do “stupid” things such as drive faster, pass in dangerous places, or drive in an unsafe manner in general. The “stupid” drivers are those who firmly believe all other drivers are stupid: truckers are stupid, cops are stupid, RV drivers are stupid, bikers are stupid, etc. To quote Forest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does.” John Wayne once said, “Life is tough, tougher if you’re stupid.”

A ROSE tends to do everything in “excess,” that is, do everything but think. They drive too fast, follow too close, etc.

We need these abbreviations and anagrams to simplify our communications when we are text messaging someone while we are driving down the highway or talking on the cell phone or CB radio.

I can imagine the conversation on the CB:

“Hey, Rubber Duck, got a copy?”

“Yea, Big Ben, I got ya.”

“Rubber Duck you got a ROSE on your donkey.”

“Yeah? Shall I pull over now or wait for him to attempt suicide passing me on this blind corner?”

“Your choice, man, he’s already past me!”

Are you a ROSE? I hope not.

May the Good Lord be with us and all who share the asphalt.

Jerry C. Martin

Jerry Martin lives in LaCrosse and has been a commerical truck driver for over 30 years. He is currently a driver with Empire Disposal in Colfax.