Adele Ferguson - Aug. 6, 2009

GOODBYE, little portable television set in my office.

Goodbye, old but trusty television set moved down to the guest house when we bought a bigger new set for the living room.

Goodbye, little battery operated television set I could at least get Canada on when the power was out.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Has anybody given any thought to the fact that all over this United States of America there are thousands of television sets that worked fine until somebody, I’m not sure who, decided it was long past time that television should be converted from analog to digital?

I don’t even know what that means.

I looked up analog and digital in the dictionary, and I still don’t know. I didn’t even know who to call to ask what one is supposed to do with a perfectly good television set that worked fine until analog went digital and now produces nothing but static and no picture. Not to mention three TV sets like that.

I finally called Comcast which provided the converter boxes that made two of my five sets usable because they were on cable and they said they’d send a man out to see if anything could be done about them. It is possible in some cases, I was told, to wire the extra sets into the new system and for what I thought was a reasonable price, $20 installation fee plus $1.99 a month but it turned out that was impossible for my three. Something to do with coming off the antenna.

SO THE NEXT question was now what do I do with them? Granted, they don’t take up much space but it is frustrating to sit in the vicinity of a television set that once brought Tom Selleck into my life and now can only wheeze at me from a black screen. Anyway, I called a friend of mine who advised me that the sets can be donated to various charities and other outfits where they take them apart and sell the parts. You can take your now useless TV sets to recycle outfits if you have any in your area, or to the local St. Vincent De Paul, Goodwill or Salvation Army Thrift Shops. I checked this out with my local St. Vinnie’s and they confirmed it, sort of.

The first person I asked told me that I should take my sets to their warehouse around the corner where they handle furniture, appliances and other large donations and they’d take care of them. The second person I asked said, “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Just bring them here to the store. We’ll test them out and see if they work off cable and sell them.” Why would they work here if they won’t work at my house? I asked.

“I don’t know,” he said, “but see that television set over there that’s running? It was brought in and we just hooked up the cable and it works.”

WELL, OK, I said, I’ll bring them in. I know they all ran perfectly well until digital came along and now they don’t work at all. I wonder what people do who have TV sets on their boats since they were never hooked up to cable and had to rely on local stations? And don’t some people have TV in their watches? I’ve seen pictures of people looking at tiny little sets they take to the beach, etc.

These, I presume, are worthless now. The only possible use, I’m told, is of any set that will handle video tapes which my old set in the guest house will do. Other than that, goodbye, little portable in my office, goodbye, little battery operated set. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

(Adele Ferguson can be reached at P.O. Box 69, Hansville, Wa.,. 98340.)