Adele Ferguson - Dolphins, sea lions, Dorn make comment list

ITEM—Specially trained Atlantic bottlenose dolphins and California sea lions will help guard Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor starting next year, the Navy announced.

Their job will be to stop swimmers or divers from infiltrating the Trident submarine base.

The dolphins, accompanied by handlers in small power boats, will work at night.

If they find an intruder, they’ll swim back to the boat and alert a handler who will place a strobe light on their noses which the critters will dislodge on the intruder to mark the spot.

Sea lions will carry in their mouths special cuffs attached to long ropes.

If they find a suspicious swimmer, they clamp the cuff around the person’s leg so the intruder can be reeled in.

COMMENT—Well, that appears to take care of the waterfront. What about guarding the facilities on land where a handful of those nutty protesters not long ago cut their way through a fence and advanced considerably far into the base before someone noticed them. Whatever happened to “Halt! Who goes there?”

ITEM—President Obama denied he was skipping meals to lose weight when observers noted on his recent trip to Asia that he is getting too thin.

COMMENT—I wonder if it could be caused by all that running up and down the steps of Air Force One? Perhaps staying at home and minding the store for a change would be beneficial to his health and his popularity in the polls.

ITEM—Randy Dorn, the state’s top education official, is so concerned about how few students pass the WASL tests in math and science he is asking the Legislature to delay the math graduation requirement until 2015, establish two tiers for the math requirement of proficient and the lesser basic which is enough to earn a diploma, create new tests for science and delay the science graduation requirement until 2017.

COMMENT—I thought we had already pushed WASL compliance down the road so as not to delay graduation. Isn’t it time we looked into whether it’s not students who can’t learn but teachers who can’t teach?

ITEM—When the Department of Social and Health Services discovered it had garnished nearly $21,000 over 10 years from the wages of a father for child support he did not owe, it wrote and told him about it and offered a refund of $1.24. That was how much it had collected after realizing it had made an error. If he wanted the rest back, said DSHS, get a lawyer. The letter so outraged another state employee who learned of it that he filed an anonymous whistle blower complaint, resulting in full payment to the father.

COMMENT—How many times have I told you DSHS is probably the most poorly run department in state government and this latest incident just proves it isn’t getting any better. God help the foster children and other poor who are under its jurisdiction.

ITEM—-Rep. Anh Cao of New Orleans was the only Republican to vote for the health reform bill in the House, in return for which he was promised consideration of forgiveness of $1.27 billion in disaster loans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Sen. Mary Landrieu of Lousiana was a last minute “yes” for debating the Senate Health Reform Bill, her price a special clause earmarking $300 million in health care only for her state. Others demanded various favors for their votes, the cost of which would come out of appropriations for states whose members didn’t put the arm on leadership.

COMMENT—My dictionary clearly defines this as bribery, even though the money doesn’t go into the congress member’s pocket. What remains to be seen is whether the constituents of these Congress members for sale approve such shenanigans and kick them out at the next election or figure pork is beneficial no matter how you get it.

(Adele Ferguson can be reached at P.O. Box 69, Hansville, Wa., 98340.)