W. BRUCE CAMERON - Lost in the Baby Shower

You’d think I’d enjoy a baby shower — after all, I like to see babies (I even was a baby once), and I like to take showers. But I’ve always elected to avoid them because no one has ever invited me.

That all changed when a former co-worker asked a bunch of us over to celebrate her former pregnancy. She now had a little 6-month-old girl she named Andie and wanted to throw a coed baby shower so all of the men would feel stupid.

See, baby showers have their own rules and their own vocabulary. You can’t just open a few beers, put on the basketball game and call it a “great party.” For example, take...