Opinion - Upcoming: new sting operations

The new taxes in Washington on candy, beer and bottled water have started taking their toll on both the consumer and the vendor.

The taxes represent a ridiculously complex system of standards determining what gets slapped with the new taxes and what does not.

The new taxes may drive some to drink. That is okay. The new tax on beer is the easiest to figure out. Only some specialty beers are exempt from the tax, making this tax a sure winner for the state. No real beer drinkers drink that stuff anyway.

The tax on candy is a different story. Candy with flour as an ingredient is not taxed. Candy which does not contain flour is taxed.

That means one has to determine the ingredients. Some licorice and licorice-like candies are exempt. Some are not. Some Snickers are exempt. Some Snickers are not.

For many businesses the mere act of selling candy could become nearly impossible without a manual, lists of ingredients and a full-time nutritionist.

A new expensive state bureaucracy is about to be born.

Don’t even ask about the tax on water.

These taxes are government fiddling at its worst. No wonder there is a financial crisis.

Also, the taxes just invite criminal behavior, too. State run sting operations are next.

It is a natural.

Imagine, an eight year-old state-paid stoolie is sent into a convenience store with a few coins. The clerk says he needs more.

“I’m sorry, son,” says the clerk. “Why don’t you get the KitKat bar instead? You have enough money for that. The candy you want doesn’t have flour in it and costs more.”

“I want M&Ms.”

The clerk shakes his head, and the boy starts to cry.

“Ok. Ok. Here. Enjoy.”

Suddenly, before the clerk can even reach for pennies out of his own pocket, the Candy Cops swoop in.

“It is a righteous arrest. Here, look at the label,” says the sting leader, taking out a magnifying glass. “Look. This candy does not have any flour in it.”

His eyes brighten even more, reading the nutrition label.

“Say, we could tax cholesterol on a sliding scale based on a percent of average daily intake recommendations. Talk about confusing.” He laughs evilly, “I’m calling the governor.”

Gordon Forgey

Publisher