W. Bruce Cameron - Light Wrestling

When I was in seventh grade, I was a scrawny boy with no muscles, so I went out for wrestling.

My intention was to develop secret wrestling skills so that if I were jumped by a bully, I’d shout “ha!” and he’d be on the ground in a headlock.

Bully: How did you do that?

Me: I used skills.

Bully: Well, from now on and all my bullying friends will live in abject fear of you, plus you’ll have your pick of the eighth-grade girls.

Me: As it should be.

The problem was that there actually aren’t any secret wrestling skills — basically, wrestling is just a really aggressive form of hugging. It’s less li...