Adele Ferguson 6/9/11

Unend of world, plain language among topics

ITEM: Saturday, May 21, 2011, came and went without any sign of the beginning of the Apocalypse as had been prophesied by an 89-year-old Californian and Christina radio entrepreneur named Harold Camping. Various groups of believers expressed their disappointment to find themselves here at dawn May 22. Camping said he felt terrible about being wrong again (he had miscalled it in 1994 which he blamed on a mathematical error) and rescheduled it for Oct. 21.

COMMENT: According to my dictionary, the Apocalypse, a cosmic cataclysm in which God destroys the ruling powers of evil and raises the righteous to life in a messianic kingdom, has been expected since about 200 B.C. How anybody could predict when I don’t know since the Bible doesn’t name any date or hour for it to occur. But there are those who look upon the rash of tornadoes here and the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear breakdowns in Japan as God getting His act together for the grand finale to come.

ITEM: In response to the Plain Writing Act, a statute signed by President Obama, the federal government is precluded as of this October from writing the usual gibberish in producing documents for the public. The Center for Plain Language will purge a long list of words, phrases and grammatical practices that governments and lawyers love, and ordinary people don’t. “Shall” is a prime target, seen as stuffy and obsolete, along with “pursuant, promulgated, thereunder, commencing, in accordance with, herein, precluded, heretofore, evidenced,” and “practicable.”

COMMENT: Well, they can dump promulgated, pursuant and the rest of those words if they want to but they’re going to have a problem eliminating “shall.” One of the first things I learned in covering the legislative sessions is the difference between “will” and “shall” in writing laws. “Will” means maintaining a disposition to act according to principles or ends. “Shall” means the same as “must” and is used to express what is mandatory. If the law says you will obey the speed limit, you may get away with explaining you try but you get swept up in traffic surges. If the law says you shall obey the speed limit, it’s a ticket or the poky.

ITEM: There are now 1,300 waivers to organizations, labor unions and seven states granted by the feds from being required to come under the Obamacare Health Act. Reportedly, 20 percent of the total are in one congress member’s district, that of House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, who was House Speaker when she rushed the bill through without debate and said we needed to pass it so we could find out what was in it.

COMMENT: Obviously, she got around to reading it or got somebody to explain it to her for her to act so swiftly to remover her constituents from having to obey it. Since a vast majority of Americans made plain their distaste for it when it was before Congress, what’s keeping the members from repealing it before more and more of its directives get the green light in the years before it is fully instituted? OK, so Obama wants this to be his primary legacy. Find him another one.

ITEM: The British version of the Secret Service, being criticized for having privately nicknamed Obama “Smart Aleck,” have adopted a new name for the president who has been welcomed by the royals. It’s Chaluque and means “cunning, cheeky, sly.”

COMMENT: I’ll buy he’s cheeky and sly but cunning? Not a chance. The family’s nicknames by our Secret Service: the President is Renegade, Michelle is Renaissance and the girls are Radiance and Rosebud. I think he’d be better suited with Ananias.

(Adele Ferguson can be reached at P.O. Box 69, Hansville WA 98340.)