Bruce Cameron

Editor’s Note: The following column was originally published in 2008.

My ancestors come from Scotland, a place known for cold, wet weather, men wearing plaid dresses and a musical instrument that makes the sound you’d get if you sat on a bag of cats.

Scotland is blamed for the creation of one of the most addictive substances known to humankind: golf. It’s also known for producing food so bad that even the people in England make fun of it. In fact, my father has always insisted that my ancestors were initially driven from their native land not because food was scarce, but because there was too...