Bruce Cameron

Editor’s Note: The following column was originally published in 2009.

You’ve probably heard the expression “I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up,” which would be a very appropriate Official Motto for my 401(k). It’s often heard in old TV commercials, in which an elderly woman summons medical assistance via a transmitter in a necklace medallion that looks a little like something Mr. T would wear.

“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up, though I am smiling and cheerful because I’m not exactly the world’s best actor,” she says.

This commercial speaks to me because I am a member of what is sometimes called t...