Bruce Cameron

Editor’s Note: The following column was originally published in 2009.

As I revealed in my column last week, my primary physician wanted me to have a colonoscopy because she was worried that the way things were going with my healthcare this year I might not exceed my deductible. She sent me to a specialist: a man who specializes in taking a camera and, well, tailgating people with it.

I did not want to meet this man.

The specialist, Doctor Cattleprod, was very jovial. “I’ve done 14,000 of these, so I’ve seen everything,” he assured me.

“Everything?” I gulped. “So like ... a Buick? A live chicke...