Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous helps participants overcome their struggles

Note: Names and other identifying characteristics have been changed, altered or omitted in this story to protect identities and to keep with anonymity policy of Food Addicts.

Six years ago, "Terry," who resides in Pullman, was more than 300 pounds, felt stuck and was “working my way up to diabetes.”

“I didn't have a solution,” she said. “I was really miserable in my body.”

Terry offered to tell her story to the Gazette to make others more aware of the Food Addicts in Recovery program, which takes place with weekly meetings in Moscow. The meetings are at Gritman Medical Center in the first floor conference room at 6:30 p.m. each Thursday.

Terry said that before she started attending the meetings, she was at a point where she thought she would be stuck her entire life.

“I got to a point where I said, 'I'm just going to be fat and pretend to be happy. I'm just going to settle, I'm just going to be in this body,'” she recalled.

A solution soon came, though, when a friend recommended to her to start attending Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous meetings. She said walking into a meeting for the first time was intimidating.

“I was new and thinking, 'oh my gosh, what is this all about?'” she said. “I was terrified to walk in the room.”

She said that when she first walked in, she met someone who told her that she would be a size six in no time if she stuck with the program.

“I could not comprehend the size six,” she said.

Today, though, size six is her reality.

“I went from a size 26/28 to a size four/six,” she said. “Now it is just normal for me.”

Today, Terry has photographs and her old pants to remind her of where she once was.

“I fit in one pant leg that I used to wear,” she said of her success.

And though she has reached her goals and developed a healthier relationship with food, she still attends the meetings.

“The biggest part for me is to be able to give back,” she said. “As I give to the world, so the world will give to me. I want to give back what has so generously be given to me.”

Terry said a typical meeting is set up so that someone who has achieved recovery for 90 days or more shares their story. She said this is done to provide an outlet of hope for all those in attendance.

“I want to hear hope that it is possible to abstain from (certain) food and recover from addictive eating,” she said. “We want people to hear that experience.”

The Food Addicts (FA) in Recovery website details the purpose of meetings.

“FA meetings are central to the FA program of recovery. All meetings are face-to-face (there are no phone or internet FA meetings). Meetings break the isolation that is always part of the disease of food addiction and provide the opportunity for newcomers and members to learn from abstinent speakers who share their experience, strength and hope. Meetings are open to all FA members and those who are interested in learning about the program for themselves or for others whom they think might find FA helpful. FA describes the only requirement for membership as 'the desire to stop eating addictively.'”

After hearing from a program participant, the group reads the 12 steps to recovery, which are based on the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. The group also reads the tools to recovery. Participants share stories of their struggles and “what it was like and what it is now.”

Terry said that though she was nervous and intimidated at first, the format of the meetings helped her in a way that no other program had.

“Wrapping my head around it was a bit challenging, but I heard that hope. I heard that it was possible. I realized that I wasn't alone,” she said. “I was desperate for a change, and hope is what kept me there.”

She said that she had previously tried “lots of diets” and Weight Watchers, sometimes with temporary success and at other times without success.

“I would think that once I lost a little weight, I could go back to my normal way of eating,” she said.

That, though, would take her right back to where she was and did not address the underlying issue of food addiction, she said.

“I definitely tried other things, but part of what worked about this program for me is that it addresses the physical needs, the mental needs and the spiritual needs,” she said. “It is not a temporary thing. It is AWOL (A Way of Life). It is changing habits.”

She compared food addiction with addiction to alcohol.

“I can abstain from alcohol. I can't live without food literally,” she said. “Food is everywhere. Our culture is centered around food, and this program teaches me to be able to encounter the foods in a strong way.”

The strength she gained from the program, she said, compared with the strength at which food addiction was grappling at her.

“I need a program that is as strong as my disease,” she said. “It gave me an answer that I was looking for that I didn't even know was there.”

Terry said the program is “very, very open to new people” and that the program will keep all participants confidential. There are no weigh-ins and no pressure, she said.

“It is a very welcoming, open place to come,” she said. “There is no pressure. It is for anybody who looks at those 20 questions and has the desperation to try something different.”

The 20 questions she referred to are outlined in the “Am I a Food Addict?” questions posted on the Food Addicts in Recovery website. Some of the questions include, “Have you ever wanted to stop eating and found that you just couldn't?” “Do you think about your food or weight constantly?” “Do you eat to escape from your feelings?” “Have you ever hidden food to make sure you have enough?” “Are you waiting for your life to begin when you lose the weight?”

Terry said these questions were eye-opening for her. She shared that she used to hide food and eat in secret.

“When I was pregnant with my daughter, I would go through the drive-thru and then hide and eat in the car,” she said. “I was hiding this food that made me physically ill.”

Terry said she is not looking to “be the poster child for FA” but wants to be able to share with others the journey she has been on and how this program can help them, too. She is now a sponsor and shares her story of success at the weekly meetings. For anybody looking to start in the program, she recommended coming to a meeting and seeing what the program entails.

“Find a sponsor who has what you want and ask how it was achieved,” she added.

She also consulted her doctor about a food plan, another thing she recommended for anybody.

“I'm not a doctor,” she said. “Check with your healthcare provider about any food plan.”

She said she knows the program can continue to help others, just as it has helped her.

“It has totally changed my relationship with food,” she said. “I keep it simple.”

She said she weighs and measures her food now and chooses healthy habits. She will go out to restaurants once-in-a-while, where she will “just ask for what I need.” She also said a habit that has helped her is writing down her food the night before so she doesn't “have to think about it” the next day.

“I get to live my life,” she said. “I don't have to worry about it.”

Terry said that anywhere from five to 10 people attend the weekly Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous meetings in Moscow each week. The meetings used to be held in Pullman, too, but for the time being are just in Moscow, she said. The mission detailed on the FA website states that the program is not just for those who overeat.

“FA members are men and women of all ages. Some have been obese; others have been severely underweight, bulimic or so obsessed with food or weight that normal life was difficult or impossible. The common denominator uniting members of FA is addiction and a relationship with food that parallel's an alcoholic's relationship with alcohol. The program offers hope of long-term recovery, evidenced by many members who have continuously maintained a normal weight and healthy eating for periods of 25 or even 30 years.”

Terry echoed this mission in what she said.

“It is anyone who has issues or obsessions around food,” she said. “This just relieves all of that.”

She said that she has now been able to maintain her weight loss within “two or three pounds” for nearly six years. She has developed a healthier relationship with food, but still said “it's very much something that I deal with every day.”

Terry said anyone who is interested in joining the meetings can find more information, including contact information, at http://www.foodaddicts.org. She said one of the biggest successes for her has been in getting to the core of her addiction.

“The weight is not only off my body,” she said, “but it is off my head as well.”